DRINK THIS BEER: Hop Hearty Ale, New Glarus Brewing Company

If you saw our earlier post, you know that drinking hoppy beers will keep you alive forever. Or something close to that.

But which to choose? We've run quite a few hop-laden brews through the Still Life test pub, with names like Blonde Hop Monster, Hopzilla, Hopicity, Super Mega Hops (we made the last one up). We've tried IPA's, Double IPA's and Imperial IPA's, and we say... enough already. We get it. There is a considerable number of hop-heads out there, and they are digging on these preposterously bitter beers.

But the Still Life Testing Crew? Not so much. We like balance. We like, dare we say, malt flavors. That's why we can recommend, without reservation, New Glarus' Hop Hearty Ale. This IPA is bitter enough for the hop head in your family, yet very balanced. Plus, the labels on New Glarus bottles make the beers look like they were made in someone's basement, which we think is pretty cool.

New Glarus was the mid-sized brewery of the year at the last Great American Beer Festival. And, as we said before, evidence shows that by drinking hoppy beers (like Hop Hearty) you may never die. Do not hesitate. Drink a New Glarus today!

Hops are a prostate's best friend...

Well, maybe that's a stretch, but researchers at Oregon State University report that a compound found in hops is helpful in the prevention of protstate cancer.

Good news if you like IBU monsters like Stone's Ruination Ale. For my money, I drink Arrogant Bastard, and I am happy to report that so far, so good, prostate-wise.

Shaquille O'Neal To Raze Old Ballantine Building

I like Shaq. Always have. And, give him props for showing Newark NJ some love, lord knows the town needs it.

But you would think there would be a better way to do this than to tear down the old Ballantine Malt House #3, the oldest existing structure from the Peter Ballantine & Sons. Why, you ask? To make room for luxury condos. Yes, condos are eating America. We at SLWB believe that if you made a list of historic structures killed by condos, it would be a pretty long list.

By the way, Pabst owns Ballantine now, with limited distribution around the country. Go to their website to find out if Ballantine is available in your town. No telling if it tastes as "special" as the beer those dapper dandies above are drinking.

"That's Ale, Brother!"

Rolling Rock rolls to New Jersey...

Some brands are synonymous with the town in which they are brewed: Pilsner Urquell and Pilzen, Anchor Steam and San Fransisco, Old Milwaukee and...you get it.

As is Rolling Rock and Old Latrobe, or was. AB purchased Rolling Rock from Belgian brewing giant InBev last week in a deal that did not include the venerable Pennsylvania brewery. AB plans to move the brand to a brewery in New Jersey, and the Latrobe facility will close unless a buyer can be found by July 31. Union officials and Latrobe residents are calling for a boycott of AB products.

The Man, thy name is Anheuser-Busch.

Hey! Caffeinated beer!

Wondering how to market "malt beverages" to the college drinking crowd? Here's how: add caffeine! American Business Daily reports that Miller has created their own super-charged malt beverage, Mickey's Stinger, to compete with rival Anheuser Busch's Tilt. Good drinkin!

But frankly, this seems like a bad idea. Do you want to see frat boys running around drinking caffeintated beer? Does that seem like a good idea to you? Nooo.

Here's AB's take:

“From happy hour to a night out at a club, contemporary adults are looking for innovative beverages that fit into their fast-paced, highly-social lifestyles,” said Pat McGauley, vice president, Innovation/New Products, Anheuser-Busch, Inc. “Tilt was developed with this in mind because it is suited to a variety of drinking occasions.”

OK then. Thanks Pat. Now some questions: What exactly is a "contemporary adult"? Because again, we at SLWB see these non beers being very popular among the 20something barbed-wire-tatoos-around-the-biceps-pimped-car-binge-drinking guy set. And "highly social lifestyle"? Is that marketing speak for "barroom brawl"?

Anyway, do not expect these drinks to make their way through the Still Life Test Pub anytime soon. We have yet to find a malt beverage that is even remotely enjoyable. They all tend to taste like Miller Lite mixed with Tang. Or, they taste like Zima, which tasted like, well, nothing.

DRINK THIS BEER: Juniper Pale Ale, Rogue Ales

Our rating system is simple: we drink a beer, and we say, "Wow! This is very fine!", or we don't. There are plenty of sites that rate color, nose, head retention, finish, etc.

Not here. Beers make our list if we drink it, like it, and would drink it again. And Juniper Pale Ale, from the venerable Rogue Ales, is one we would go out of our way to drink.

It is brewed with juniper berries, although I have no idea what juniper berries taste like, other than they make a mighty fine ale. Another masterpiece from the good folks of Rogue.